A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes, sir” the shop assistant coos. “I’ve already had 5 satisfied customers this morning, and it’s only 11:30am”. “Good good” the man replies. “Well, go and wash yer hands then - I only want a ham sandwich”.Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I. .. it was kind of taken out of my hands." Brianna admitted, sitting back down on the bed. "My mum had flu, my dad came home from work. She told him Tony's up in his room with his friend, and Brianna's out at the youth club. He went to put some washing away, and Tony wasn't in his room, Tony was at the youth club." So you were in your room with a friend." Erica Dryden..." Brianna nodded. "We... well, when he pushed in we could have done with the clothes, let me put it that way." That must have been awkward." A bit. We shouted and screamed, me about privacy and him about the sanctity of his house — at least he waited until Erica went home." What happened?" Mum got better. She knew he was more surprised than anything — I'd had a few boyfriends before, but nothing serious — and she knew I was upset at being found like that, but... well, if he'd thought I'd be there he'd have knocked, he's good like that." That's it?" Pretty much. They knew I wasn't a bad kid, that I took things seriously..
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